Against my better judgement(this won't end well, I can already tell) Im going to relay a conversation I had with a dear friend while at her house for our boys to play this morning. I was asking her about a friend of her's(this friend just had baby #2). She went on to tell me that this friend was struggling with the decision of whether or not to transition from working mother to SAHM. She said that her friend wanted to continue to work "in order to be a role model for her daughters". I admire that sentiment. I understand that thought. What I can't wrap my head around is the idea that she only thinks she can be a role model to her daughter if she works outside the home. This is not the work v. stay at home debate. I HATE that exchange. It pains me to see women tearing other women down. Different situations work for different families, I COMPLETELY understand and embrace that. I just can't stand the thought that this person feels the only way she can provide a positive example for her daughter is to work. Shouldn't that element of the equation be just one reason her daughters look up to her instead of the exclusive one?
10.01.2009
Whatever helps you sleep at night...
Against my better judgement(this won't end well, I can already tell) Im going to relay a conversation I had with a dear friend while at her house for our boys to play this morning. I was asking her about a friend of her's(this friend just had baby #2). She went on to tell me that this friend was struggling with the decision of whether or not to transition from working mother to SAHM. She said that her friend wanted to continue to work "in order to be a role model for her daughters". I admire that sentiment. I understand that thought. What I can't wrap my head around is the idea that she only thinks she can be a role model to her daughter if she works outside the home. This is not the work v. stay at home debate. I HATE that exchange. It pains me to see women tearing other women down. Different situations work for different families, I COMPLETELY understand and embrace that. I just can't stand the thought that this person feels the only way she can provide a positive example for her daughter is to work. Shouldn't that element of the equation be just one reason her daughters look up to her instead of the exclusive one?
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YES - I think it is so, so important that every family has to find what is best for them. To much judgey judgeyness out there.
ReplyDeletethis debate will go on and on and on. I chose to be a stay at home mom. I am lucky we have been able to make that decision. It doesn't work for everyone, due to personal or financial reasons. For my sake I wanted to be at home so that I could be here for my children. So that I could raise my children and teach them manners and right from wrong. I do not want someone else doing this. I want to take them on play dates and to the museums. I want them remembering the things we did together. That said, my youngest will be in Kindergarten next year and in school all day. I will likely find some work outside the home. However, I will demand that whatever I do, that I will be available to my children as soon as their end of the day school bell ends. I want to help them with homework, schlep them to their sports and activities and be there for them to talk to. These, of course, are just my views.
ReplyDeleteThe title of your last post cracked me up when I saw it on my blogroll! I completely agree on both accounts, the judgement will never go away...I guess everyone thinks their way is the right way! Hope everyone is having a great fall!
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